the trip was really an eye opener for all 28 of us who went to hanoi, vietnam. guess living in singapore here, we are very fortunate to have a shelter, family and living in a good condition though we do fall sick every now and then. it was sad to see the kids there, their conditions be it living or health, with no families and proper facilities for them to learn, have a good night sleep and even a sumptious meal.

it really gave me an idea of how much pain they are going through by looking at the place itself. it was really sad to see and i shall say it was a great experience. for now i know how difficult life could be for others who are not as fortunate as us. now it makes me questioned myself why do kids that live a perfect maybe near perfect life always complaining and asking for more instead of being thankful? these kids didn't even complaint a single thing with the life that they have but living their life with smiles and laughters. shouldn't it be the opposite?

well, on a brighter note, the trip was awesome! it was wonderful experience to get a glimpse of their lifestyle, culture and also have a taste of their food. it was really an awesome trip with bunch of awesome people. let the friendship made there stays.

Shaifulridzuan at 1:44 PM

sick, fasting, headaches, one after another.
when will all of these end?
running away won't help
facing it will get even worst.

truth is, i'm just sick and tired of everything.
i need peace and time to clear my mind.
maybe moving on was the best thing to do
but why didn't i?
now you're stuck here in my mind when i was with someone new.
with you in mind, that was the cause of disaster
disaster that breaks me to pieces
tearing up new beginning.

thank you past.
you really made an impact in my life
ever since you're gone.
Shaifulridzuan at 1:55 PM

i need time, i need space.
i just need some place to think
think of something that is in need of deep thought.

too many what ifs in this mind.
it's easy to have that second chance
but there many consequences too. that's where the what ifs comes in

what if that second chance turns out to be a positive one?
it will be good.
things will be back to normal. no one will be hurt
everything will be fine and happiness will be there again.

what if it ends negatively?
people get hurt, hearts will be broken.
things will change. it might end up with a drastic change.
everything you wished for all crush.

which is which in this situation?
complication can really lead to disaster.
feelings can be an ass at times.
feelings do change. but why?

i'm literally screwing up myself
Shaifulridzuan at 2:49 PM

school has made me too busy with things to be done like projects, presentations and role plays. didn't know higher nitec was this tedious as i thought it would be an easy life in ITE. it may be boring at times in school, but nontheless, projects after projects. once EBA is done, i have all my time to ETP 3 which is due somewhere next week or week after the holidays? and followed by presentation again. which after that followed by my IA which is attachment for 8 weeks. wow! we'll be missing work for that 2 months.

life has been a little not so good. why do feelings have to change? anybody has an answer to that? i need that answer badly. suffering from it lately. why oh why? how i wish i can just run away from every single thing that i don't wish to face. wouldn't it be great then? how i wish i could just start something new that easy without any harm being done.

nothing much to be said actually. just need to type out what i feel like typing. can i just do anything without hurting anyone? i need some time to think it through.

Shaifulridzuan at 3:55 AM